~4 Minute Read

Character introductions:

(Past)
Reflective and sometimes rueful,
(Past) unravels memories,
tracing the origins of personal anxieties
intertwined with societal expectations.

{Present}
Vigilantly navigating the current perspective on tangled rulesets,
{Present} scrutinizes each thread,
distinguishing personal fears
from expectations imposed by the world.

[Future]
Focused on liberation and healing,
[Future] strategizes ways to untangle
and manage these pressures
for a healthier, more authentic self.

Self
Serving as the mediator,
Self integrates the insights,
crafting a pathway toward personal clarity
and societal resilience.

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In our journey through the mental landscape of anxiety, we’ve uncovered not just the knotted mess of personal fears but also the entwined strands of societal expectations.

Self, as is their role, takes the lead in beginning the revision process of discerning the worries and priorities generated internally – by the values held dearly within – from the heavy pressures of living in the particular body, location, and time into which we’ve been born.

As we pull at these threads, we realize that some are not ours to hold—they belong to a society that often dictates how we should feel, react, and live.

Now, we’ll explore how to discern
our threads from those placed upon us by others.
Only then can we begin to decide which ones truly reflect
who we are
and who we aspire to be.
Once we clarify our own concerns, we can learn to separate, understand, and ultimately, liberate ourselves from this intricate web of worries.

(Looking back, I see how many times I danced to someone else’s tune,
scared of stepping out of line.
Terrified as if it were life or death – fitting in or being cast out.
It was like wearing a costume made of fears…
I’m not even sure where all of them came from.)

As these revelations surface from the abyss below and bring with them tangled concerns generated by family and friends and bullies from childhood, {Present} takes a methodical approach, sorting through the tangle with a critical eye.

{Here and now, I’m learning to ask:
Is this worry mine, or is it something I’ve picked up from outside?
Whose voice am I hearing this critique in?
Do they have my best interest at heart?
Dissecting the source gives us a chance to respond, not just react.}

Future, ever the visionary, sees the potential for a time where these external pressures are no longer debilitating but are recognized and managed effectively.

[I can imagine a world where we are no longer
puppeteered by societal strings.
Where we acknowledge these pressures
and in the same breath choose which to accept and which to let go,
opting out of others’ interpretations & expectations,
crafting a life that truly belongs to us.]”

With a plan beginning to form, Self keeps the conversation grounded in compassion and looks towards effectiveness – a design made of actionable steps.

As we differentiate these threads—
identifying what is ours and what is imposed—
we can start to make informed choices about how to deal with them.
It’s about setting boundaries of what we will and will not tolerate.
All we can impact is what’s in our control:
our own choices and actions.
Our limits can be designed as a protective barrier
around both our personal space as well as our mental space.

(I’ve learned that if I constantly live for the benefit of others, I lose myself.
So now, I choose to say,
‘If this situation compromises my values,
I will step back and honor my own path.’
It’s about preserving my integrity; belonging rather than fitting in.)

{When demands on my time and energy
exceed what I can give without losing myself,
I now respond with,
‘If you need more than I can offer,
I will need to prioritize my own well-being first.’
It’s a necessary shift for my health and happiness
as well as my ability to show up for others the way I want to.}

[Envisioning a future where my relationships are healthy and balanced,
I commit to saying,
‘If we cannot respect each other’s boundaries,
then I will choose to limit our interaction.’
If: Then statements keep my limits focused
on my choices, my actions, and thus firmly in my control.
It’s about building a life where mutual respect is non-negotiable.]

Setting healthy limits means declaring,
‘If this behavior continues despite my clear communication,
I will choose actions that protect my peace.’
This isn’t just about untangling webbed anxieties; it goes a step further.
This process of discernment is about knowing
which knots are ours to tie & untie
and which we can simply walk away from.
Deciding intentionally which to weave into our destiny.
Let’s continue this conversation as we learn & discern,
equipping ourselves with the tools
to not just survive but thrive
in a world full of expectations.

Written by Elise Loprieno
Intention Consultant & LMFT
(In collaboration with a Large Language Model)

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